I didn’t get chosen to win John Chow’s free Blog World Expo passes. The winners were Merlene Paynter of Fruglaous.com and Linda Bustos of SMogger Social Media Blog. Merlene recently sold her home and has taken up blogging full time. She is embracing this blogging fully and I think that is amazing! Linda will be blogcasting with her Flip so I can get a glimpse of some of the fun she’ll be having. I’m happy she didn’t have to sell her soul for a pass! Congratulations to both winners!
I know it was not one of those lifetime dreams that came crashing down. I know it was not something I worked on tirelessly. So I clearly understand where this disappointment ranks compared to others I have had in my life. However, this is an opportunity to ask the question:
How do I deal with disappointment?
“Next to trying and winning, the best thing is trying and failing.”
~Lucy Maude Montgomery in Anne of Green Gables
1. Not even putting myself in the game
I can name times in my life when I’ve missed deadlines, appointments, tryouts and even though I say it was a mistake, I realize that if it was a priority I would not have missed them.
2. Listing the reasons it’s good I didn’t win
Most things in life come at a cost. That wonderfully delicious chocolate cheesecake tastes good but means extra time on the treadmill if I eat it. That wonderful acting role would mean big bucks and fame but would include everything being publicized or talked about by people.
3. Blaming it on something beyond my control
I lost the game because of unfair officiating. I lost because the winner bribed the judges. I lost because they didn’t want a woman for the job. In this way I can tell myself that it wasn’t because I wasn’t good enough.
4. Telling myself I don’t care
Similar to #2, I tell myself, “I didn’t really want it anyway” or “I just did it on a whim”. Truth be told, I usually do care. I may not be as invested in winning all the time but I still wanted to win. Don’t let my calm, cool and collected act fool you!
5. Ignoring it altogether
Forget No. 2-4. Let’s just ignore it all. Let’s just pretend none of it ever existed. See, it never happened!
Talk about unhealthy ways of dealing with issues.
Perhaps I should try something different.
Healthy ways to deal with disappointment
1. I put myself out there
There is something to be said for at least trying. Brett Favre has the record for most interceptions thrown but he also has the record for most touchdowns thrown. He puts himself out there. He gives himself the chance to throw another touchdown.
2. Learn from it
There are things I could have done differently. I could study more, train more, give more thought to my answers, etc. Spend some time and consider in what ways I could do things differently the next time.
3. Discuss the feelings
There is no reason to let things tear at me. There is no reason to keep it all bottled inside. Talk to a friend or family member, write about it in a blog or a journal. Scream it out loud when I am standing on my back porch. Whatever method works for me and helps me to get it out then I’ll go for it. Put it out there and be vulnerable.
4. Give myself time
I am human. I have feelings and they don’t turn off and on like a light switch. So give myself time to deal.
5. Surround myself with positivity
After it is all said and done sometimes I need to take stock of my life. Appreciate the blessings I have in my life and surround myself with positive people and experiences. Laugh, smile and love because in this moment I decide how I am going to live my life.
