1. Does the Time Traveler ever leave in the middle of doing it?
There’s no way a woman could forgive that.
Return the favor or don’t come back!
2. Does any guy really go to the bar and order 64-calorie beer?
In the commercial it’s some skinny dude ordering the low-cal beer.
Is that cool? Anywhere?
3. Is there some scientific explanation as to why a 50-something-pound kid sounds like a horde of elephants?
Honestly.
When they’re walking around upstairs it’s crazy noisy.
And if they sound like a horde of elephants I’d hate to think what I sound like?
4. Did I really expose half my ass to the grocery store the other day?
I went grocery shopping.
I didn’t have a worry in the world.
Until I come home and husband points out the large hole in the back of my pants.
5. Why is my 7yo noticing her hairy legs?
I blame Hannah Montana and all things Disney-esque.
She pointed out the dark hairs growing on her pale white legs.
Crap. When did I start shaving?
6. Why is my 11yo sporting a mini mustache in the works?
Maybe it’s peach fuzz…or the makings of peach fuzz.
In any case, he has some hair growing on that upper lip.
(Checks to see if 7yo is also sporting some peach fuzz)
7. How many blog posts am I going to keep as “Drafts”?
So I get these awesomely clever blog posts ideas.
And I type and type away to the wee hours of the morning.
Then I close my laptop with big plans of publishing the posts when I wake up.
After a little bit of caffeine those posts don’t seem quite so clever.
I seem rather bitter, raunchy or just plain dumb.
8. In what kind of unfair world does a mom of 8 have a better looking belly than me?
I ask this as I slurp down another Mtn Dew chased with a few greasy strips of bacon.
9. Then a few minutes of pondering
I’m evaluating my success at balancing my roles as wife, mother, sister, business owner, blogger, etc. and trying to beat down the feelings of insecurity, ineptitude and slackassness.
10. And there goes the randomness
As I start to realize I have no more random thoughts and I try to actually cue up some clever thought to list as #10 I realize that forcing it might mean it’s not as random as I try to pass it off as.
So then I’m faking my randomness and that’s just not cool.
On a sidenote
My 7yo just told my husband – “Dad, I like your thighs, they’re hairy.” Now, that is some randomness. And I laughed until I almost peed.
Photo by Sara.Nel
