May 28, 1998
It was one of those life-changing days.
I was 38 weeks pregnant with my first baby.
4:00 a.m.
Woke up with what HAD to be a stomachache.
I’d like to think it’s normal for first-time moms to not know the difference between a stomachache, cramps, Braxton Hicks AKA fake labor and real labor.
I called up my doctor and their advice – Get to the hospital!
The rest of the day was filled with the following wonderful life pleasures:
1. Pitocin – let’s get those contractions going!
2. Epidural – let’s make the pain go away!
3. Big Needles – IV in my arm, epidural in back
4. Inept Anesthesiologist – Apparently my spine is to blame for him having to repeatedly stick me with the aforementioned big needle.
5. Visitors – So there I am drowsy and in pain. I woke up occasionally to various guests in my room. Needless to say, I wasn’t feeling social but as long as they didn’t mess with my epidural I was fine.
So is it like they portray it in the movies?
I’d like to say no.
Thanks to the meds there was no screaming.
With one exception…
I had checked in to the hospital a little after 4am.
The Kid wasn’t born until after 5pm.
During that time all I was allowed to eat was ice chips.
Come on, in what crazy world is “ice chips” considered food?!
I think it should be considered cruel and unusual punishment to starve a pregnant woman.
During this 12-hour time period my wonderful husband, Greg, was at my side.
However, he did not have to survive on ice chips alone.
No, he was able to eat chocolate donuts and Dr. Pepper.
By the way, did you know pregnant women have a heightened sense of smell?!
So worth it...
Or maybe I was supposed to be doing that “he, he, he” breathing.
Whatever it was I just remember lying on my side and Greg breathing right next to me.
As he was so sweetly advising me to breathe I replied (in a not so nice voice)
“No, you don’t breathe!”
Apparently food-deprived pregnant women enduring labor do not appreciate smelling chocolate donuts and Dr. Pepper.
It upsets said pregnant woman.
Pregnant woman will then threaten you to stop breathing or else…
