My husband’s too old for a good ol’ stare down

So today we’re in the parking lot of the mall.
There’s a hottie walking to the car with her man.
They’re holding hands and she’s looking way too hot for him.
(I have no problems admitting a chick’s hot)

Imagine this dress on a girl with legs for a mile, a tan going on, curves galore and oh, yeah, not anorexic.

The Average-Looking Boyfriend walks Summer-Dress Hottie to the car, opens the door for her and then…
Boyfriend sees Average-Looking Creeper across the aisle who had been eyeing his hottie up and down.

So Boyfriend gives the good ol’ “stare down” to Creeper. Personally I was hoping for some shit talking or fighting. No such luck. No drama for me to report.

So I ask My Man, “Honey, would you stare down some guy who was checking me out.”
Pause, pause, pause.
His reply, “Babe, I’m too old for that.”

What?
Too old to let another man know to back the hell off?
Too old to even glare at another guy?
Too old to get all possessive?
I’m not feeling the love, Mr. Man.

He smiled… and said the sweet words I wanted to hear.
“I’m too old for a stare down but I’d kick a guy’s ass if I had to.”

Screw Hallmark, roses and chocolate.
Sometimes a woman just wants to hear that you’d kick a guy’s ass for her!